How to ask our guests for money as a wedding present without offending them?
In Japan money is the expected gift, with a minimum amount being stipulated, and your gift multiple being calculated dependent upon your relationship with the couple. In the Chinese culture it is commonplace for a red envelope of cash to be given to the bride and groom, and the traditional Hindu wedding gift is money, however there will always be some guests who feel that this is inappropriate, and so the dilemma of “how to ask for money as a wedding gift” is one of the most challenging etiquette issues faced by couples planning their wedding.
As the average age of couples getting married rises, and most engaged couples have already set up a home together, most wedding guests appreciate that monetary gifts are far more useful than household appliances. In fact, during a nationwide survey carried out by i3, 78% of consumers said that they would prefer to give cash as a wedding gift.
Respect is at the heart of etiquette, and it is considered acceptable to ask for money so long as you handle it politely, with sensitivity and diplomacy. Your guests want to feel that they are giving you a present and not just writing you a cheque, so decide beforehand what the cash will be spent on, as they will appreciate, and are more likely to feel comfortable, giving cash if they know how their gift may be used.
There are many verses and poems in circulation to let guests know of your wishes, and a myriad of wishing wells, treasure chests and birdcages for guests to place their gift envelopes in at your reception. Additionally, many companies have now created registries that are essentially a way of asking for money, without having to actually ‘ask for money’, and which also allow a secure transfer of funds should your guests so wish.
Some alternative gift registries;
www.JustTheThing.co.uk allows you to register ANY gift that you might like from the odd appliance to a contribution towards a honeymoon or loft extension, new golf clubs or car.
www.thewineweddinglist.com together with one of their wine experts you will draw up a bespoke list of fine wines, which are delivered with a personal message from the guest.
Store Gift Vouchers remain very practical, are almost cash and can buy a huge range of products, from clothes and food, to home improvements.
www.buyourhoneymoon.com with the average honeymoon costing £2,900 this is an excellent way for you to request money whilst allowing your guests to buy you a specific experience or trip. Photographs of you both enjoying your experience can then be sent to the guest on your return in what becomes a truly personalised thank you.
If you have everything you need, make it special for someone else by giving the money to charity www.thealternativeweddinglist.co.uk is a non-profit making company with lists for Help the Aged, Marie Curie Cancer Care, Save the Children, and Sight Saver International.
From Elizabeth Gall , Director of Simply Elegant Wedding Planning - www.simplyelegantltd.co.uk