Dealing With Different Religious Beliefs

Cultural and Religious Considerations

Another source of conflict can be if you and your prospective partner are from different cultural or religious traditions. If this is the situation you are in, you will probably already have experience in dealing with questions from both families, and you may have questioned yourself and your values quite intently. However, as weddings are a major life event and carry huge spiritualist weight in all faith traditions, the issue may well raise its head again, both in your own thoughts and from your respective communities. This also applies if one of you is an atheist, agnostic or has a belief system that whilst sincerely held, does not slot easily into one religious identity. After all, whilst it is a tempting assumption that in this scenario the partner with the acknowledged religion should be able to have the ceremony, vows and spiritual elements that are important to them and their family, it is not the case. A statement of non-belief or uncertainty is not the same as ‘not caring’! Therefore, it is vitally important that you are both involved in planning this part of the day. Here are some top tips for dealing with a mixed faith marriage.

Sit down with your partner and decide, in private, what is really important to you about the day. Try and do this as early as possible so that if you start to face pressure from outside, you’ll be able to present a united front.

Be loving, but firm, with family and friends. If you are doing something other than they expect, tell them why, but don’t feel that you have to justify your decisions.

Focus on the positives. When asked ‘Why aren’t you doing X?’ say ‘We just didn’t want  to/ we’re both making compromises but I am really looking forward to doing Y/having Z as part of the ceremony’ etc.

A really excellent way round this could be an interfaith minister. They are able to create a ceremony with the elements that you choose and have the flexibility to marry you anywhere. This is in contrast to a civil ceremony (which does not allow religious elements) or your existing religions (which mat restrict you to marrying in a place of worship, or just not allow you to marry). Interfaith ministers are legally able to conduct weddings in Scotland and Northern Ireland, although in England and Wales a registrar will need to be present.